OUT OF THIS WORLD

I just found out that Mother Vrinda left her body a couple of weeks ago in Kampala. I was fortunate to have her association in my first few years in ISKCON. In 1999 I joined Tribhuvannatha Prabhu’s travelling festival programme in the UK and Ireland and got to serve alongside her. She was such an inspiration: 100% dedicated to her service, joyful, tolerant, kind. I only wish I had been able to associate more with her.

I remember being in Ireland with her in December 1999. The festival crew were staying in a small two bedroom flat in Dublin in order to collect funds for the African tour. The men were in one room and the ladies in the other. This meant that Mother Vrinda had to share a small room with about three or four younger ladies. Naturally, this must have been difficult for the more mature Vrinda but she tolerated us for some time and then she came up with a solution: she would stay in the cupboard under the stairs! I felt terrible to see her so humble and austere and I begged her not to live in that cold damp place, but she really didn’t seem to mind it and was quite happy there.

I never heard her complain about any of the austerities that she regularly endured for her service. In the UK she would live in an old converted ambulance and take cold showers. But despite all her austerities, she never looked ragged at all – she always looked nice. It was like some mystic power she had.

At festivals, Mother Vrinda would run the shop, and while the rest of us might be having fun dancing in the kirtan, she would be standing outside selling books, incense, chanting beads, samosas etc. One time, after a big festival in the UK (maybe it was Camden Hall), Tribhuvannatha Prabhu asked me what I thought of the programme and I replied that I didn’t get to see any of the programme because I had been at the door greeting the guests all night. Then he said, laughing, “Oh, you did a Mother Vrinda!”

My friend Kirti and I were amazed at her service and her humility. She was always joyfully and busily engaged. She gave everything she had and she set a shining example for us to try to follow.

Her passing was sudden as she was hit down by a car. Perhaps Tribhuvannatha Prabhu needed some help wherever he is now and called for Mother Vrinda. I have no doubt that this is where she would want to be. Dear Vrinda – please save a place there for me too.

I am hiding out in my room. The last time I stepped outside my room I detected a strong odour of a fish being cooked and the distinct sound of Rugby match commentary coming from downstairs. This room is not exactly a comfort zone either as it is screaming out for decoration and none of the furniture matches and there is not enough space. If only I was truly transcendental I could easily tolerate al these things. Oh well.

I will be moving out next weekend. My brother’s girlfriend has just moved in with him, so I will rent her house. I can’t really afford it but I am desperate for a kitchen that doesn’t have the grease of cooked dead animals and hair of a cat called Jasper all over it (as is my current situation). I don’t know how long I will stay at the next place. It should be for at least one month. If I get any of the jobs I have applied for I will try to get a mortgage and buy a place.

Life is not easy. It used to be that a woman would grow up in her parents house, then get married and live with her husband, and then she would stay at home to keep the place nice and have children and look after them. That’s pretty rare these days. Now that we are ‘liberated’ we have to struggle to earn money, just like the men. Even when the husband is around, one income is often not enough for comfortable living. Even when there are children, the mother feels the need to go to work because she can earn more than the cost of child-care. Then there are the single mothers. Add to that the intense social and psychological pressure to look like a supermodel. What a struggle for existence. Is it really worth it?

Whatever position we have in this world: man, woman, rich, poor, black, white, fat, thin - there is bound to be material suffering. That is the nature of the world. Just try to make the best use of a bad bargain, as my old friend Tribhuvannatha Prabhu used to say. Whatever you have, try to use that for Krishna’s service, remember Krishna, and go back to Godhead where you belong.